By middle-January it already seems as if that annual New Year’s Resolutions, well-meant promises to the Self, are failing. Thus anxiety levels rise and the search begins: how to manage anxiety, dealing with anxiety, anxiety management techniques, counselling for anxiety, therapist for stress and anxiety, more anxiety management, and so forth.
A new year naturally brings with it fresh energy and the promise of something new and hopefully better, as well as the motivation to engage with self-improvement practices. The latter can be anything from doing something about the overweight body seen in the full-length mirror and confirmed by the bathroom scale, therefore going on a dreaded diet and planning to exercise every day, to learning new skills, enroll in studies that have been put off for years, or learning to meditate. We know the pattern: things go well for the first month, maybe two or three if you are lucky, and then your general routine takes over, motivation to keep up the new year’s resolutions fade, and you are back to where you were. At this point you feel a failure, unable to fulfill the promises you made to yourself, and stress and anxiety takes over.
The problem with these New Year’s Resolutions is not that we lack motivation or endurance, but that we set ourselves up for failure by making promises to ourselves that we cannot keep. The need to lose weight and live a healthier lifestyle through eating well and exercising is vital for a healthy body and spirit, but it is no good to embark on crash diets that deplete the body from necessary nutrients, and are impossible to keep up. Embarking on a strict exercise regime that might be attainable when you have time during your holiday but doesn’t keep up with your normal routine when work starts again, is bound to fail. The question would then be, are your well-meant New Year’s Resolutions realistic and attainable? If not, what will be manageable? Or should we rather opt for non-resolutions?
In my counselling practice clients often deal with questions on how to manage anxiety. Stress and anxiety are very often exacerbated by unreasonable demands on the self, or setting goals that are unattainable, leaving the client feeling a failure. We then would explore what goals and visions will be attainable for the client, by keeping in mind the client’s skills-base, current life situation (which includes work demands, home and relationships) as well as the physical time the client has available during the course of a normal day. We will explore dealing with and managing anxiety through skills and techniques, like meditation, breathing techniques and life-style choices, that are attainable and won’t add extra demands on time and energy.
I believe that the best for us is to keep New Year’s Resolutions simple and attainable. Mine for this year is just to be kind and compassionate to myself and to others.
If you are seeking counselling for anxiety, I can be contacted at 083 764 5978 or complete the enquiry form on this page. My fees for counselling are R 800 p/h.